The fact that you are reading this article means that you have an inkling of something not being very right with your feeling of self worth. Well congratulations!! Half the battle is won here. No I am not mocking at you and I am very genuine with my praise because while almost the entire mankind is suffering from varying degrees of low self- esteem it is very few like you who dare to acknowledge and accept this basic fact.
For those who have accidently landed on this page, Inferiority complex can be simply defined as a feeling of not being good enough. The root cause for this feeling is harboring low self- esteem or low self worth. Most of us have been repeatedly told how we are not good – not good looking, not fair skinned, not intelligent, not enterprising, not friendly… you get it? At the same time there were very few occasions when we were genuinely praised for being what we are.
So now here we are grown up and having no clue about who we are and thus living on the opinions others have been giving us- wallowing in low self esteem- It is this simple! And if we just get this, the following few steps would help you get your self worth in the right place.
1. RECOGNIZE & ACCEPT: If you frequently find that you are defending yourself, feeling bad for every other comment, taking everything personally and wallowing in self pity or up in arms against everyone- Recognize that this is INFERIORITY COMPLEX in person, and accept that what ever and whoever you may be, today you are harboring LOW SELF- ESTEEM.
2. KNOW THY SELF: Having done that further steps are comparatively easy. Sit with yourself and make a list of what all you do not like about yourself and all that you love about yourself (This second list is a bigger task than the first one!) Nevertheless do it. Be careful not to indulge in what others do not like about you and when it comes to liking yourself- be a narcissist. Just one word of caution here- DO NOT share this exercise with anyone. NO sir, we do not need any more put downs neither do we want any ridicule.
3. FEEL GOOD: Look at the list of all that is good about you. You may not be as athletic as your neighbor but you are you and you are unique and special. Be generous in praising yourself. Know that there is always someone who looks better than the most handsome movie star and always someone who own a bigger car than the guy with Mercedes. Don’t compare, just look at your list and feel good and thankful about what you have. We all have something that is unique about us. Do this everyday before starting for the day.
4. CONVERT ONE AT A TIME: Look at your other list. Pick up one or two things that you would like to change about yourself first. Write down what you need to do to change it. Trust me “You know it”. If you need specific help do ask from someone who knows and appreciates your efforts. Set time line to your improvement activity and evaluate frequently. Once you are comfortably on your way and feel things changing you can cut this one from the “Not like” list and add it to the “Good” list and feel proud of yourself. Then take up the next one. Meanwhile taking up some classes to gain a new skill like music, self-defense, sport can really boost your self- worth.
5. Focus on HAPPINESS not PERFECTION: Change and improvement is a life long activity. As we evolve we recognize more that we need to learn or change. Don’t be hesitant to accept and work on it. We are human. We will never be perfect. But the better ones among us keep working on ourselves and respect the fact that we are “WORK IN PROGRESS” while we keep our focus on happiness.
Oh yes…and if you feel lost or discouraged do seek the support of a counselor. They can be your best companions.
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