Are You Stuck in The Past?

  • Dr. Sapna Sharma
  • 03 October 2018

Since you are reading this article, I may be right in presuming that you have read many books. As you will agree, a reader always is curious to know what will happen next in the book that he is reading. In the act of reading forward to know what happens next, the reader does not flip back the pages to reread what he has already read. No one lingers over pages that have been once read, even for the reference.

More importantly, we continue to read ahead despite the trials and tribulations and heartaches of the previous pages, in the hope that there will be something better ahead.
But we act a little differently in real life. We are not able to get past certain events, which occur in our life.

Even if there is a small spot or a slight stain of pain on any of the leaves in the book of our own life, we tend to keep turning back to that page, unable to let the pain go. We are anguished each time we revisit that pain. We keep transferring that same pain on to our near and dear ones too. So many precious moments, days and years just slip away in the recollection of our hurt. We aren’t even aware of this kind of loss!

With the passage of time, we have new hopes and new dreams, new joys and new loves. We wish to pen them down on the next pages of our book of life. But even at that new scripting we flip back the pages to the ones where past hurts are documented. Some questions still haunt us as we remember….
“Why did she behave like that?”
“I’d invited him, yet he never came.”
“She was too jealous of my good fortune.”
“He did not congratulate me on my achievement!”
“That one time, I had fumbled while speaking from the podium! People will laugh at me if I speak in public!”

Everyone has some reason or the other lurking in their minds, which inhibits them from any positive action. Some people just cannot forget past failures and hurtful events…
Many people, I realize, like to go back repeatedly to that painful page in their life-book. It has become a habit for them. Yes, a habitual practice. No one knows in advance, or at birth, how our life is going to turn out, but one feels terrible pain if it does not go according to our ‘plan’. Interestingly, we don’t mind revisiting the pain but we resist a hundred times to reach out for Counseling or online Counseling to solve our issues once and for all.

People fall into two categories as they go through life:-
·         One, those who hold on to the reins of their life and chart their own course.
·         Two, those who tie each end of many reins of their life to a memory of an event or person.

And then, when their life does not progress well, they point accusingly to those people/ events they have tied themselves to, and collapse in despair.

We all need to remember that we have tied the ropes and we can open them any time. We need to stop pointing fingers to others in a hope of some magical solutions. All we need to do is to cut those ropes and fly again. Of course there are counselors and Life Coaches to help you move ahead. If you cannot travel to them, use Internet to get to any counselor of your choice for online counseling. Whatever it takes, break the ropes and move ahead…

   

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