Stay Away from Heartache - Read How!!!
Read this quote somewhere “FOR SALE- One heart, horrible condition, will take anything for it, Just cut it out of my chest and end this suffering” Many of us have experienced it, almost always after relationships that we cherish have gone sore- Relationships with our lovers, life partners, children and friends. It hurts I know, but does the heart have to suffer so much?
What is it with us and the relationships? We give birth to children but forget that they would grow up to be individuals with their own opinions and choices. We get attracted to someone and expect they should be all that we expect of them. We make friends and want them to like all that we like. Do we ever realize that by doing so we practically expect that “I and only I know the best and should be able to dictate all terms in every relationship?”
I know many cases of domestic violence and abuse. Interestingly, the heart doesn’t ache in those cases. What the victim is looking for is a relief in the relationship. The heart aches when we are in non-abusive relationships but things are not going the way we want or expect.
There are three ways of looking at it:
- We need to look within and ask if we are being fair by expecting so much in a relationship. If this is the case then we are responsible for our heartache, not them. This is applicable even in a parent child relationship. The parent needs to know that their role is to nurture and protect the child till they are not adults. Also that by the time children finish education and are responsible they are adults and individuals and they have equal rights to make decisions on their life including where they live, whom they choose as partners and what kind of lifestyle they would like to live. Many parents overstep their roles as parents and believe that they can dictate their terms on the life of their children just because they have borne them, leading to a lifetime of heartache for both the parents and their children.
- If our partners, children, lovers or friends are being unreasonable over and over and not ready to understand what is hurting us, we have the right to make our choices. Believing that we do not have a choice and continuing to blame the others, again we are the ones responsible for our heat aches.
- We need to accept that relationships are fallible. Simply because there are two or more people involved, all with different personalities, purpose and mental and emotional make up. When we put the conditions that our relationships SHOULD work even when we see so many relationships falling apart, we are inviting heartache of our own making.
Time heals everything, provided we choose to heal and not to keep our pain ruminating.
Are you hurting? Analyze yourself and feel free to share with me in the comment box below. If you wish to discuss something that is personal to you, let us know and we can connect.