Have you ever experienced or witnessed a relationship where one of the partners consistently keeps the other partner in a confused state? They may be either cheating or doing things behind their partners back that is not acceptable. But when the partner finds out and confronts, these people raise their voice and twist the facts with such smartness that the accusing partner starts doubting himself. They may have proof and they would be logically convinced that their partner is up to no good, but every time they attempt to take it up, their partner makes them believe that either they are delusional or simply imagining things that are not there. 

Gaslighting- A very common phenomenon in relationships. Many of us experience it but the operators are so smooth that it takes us a long time to understand, if we do, that there is something majorly wrong here. 

The Gaslighting partner is generally up to no good but their intention is to keep their partner under control so that they can feel powerful. They are so skilled in their deception that they may even involve other people and try to get them to say that they are not wrong and that their partner is unnecessarily reacting.

The gaslighting partner may have some serious psychological effect on their partner in making them believe that they are mentally unstable and need psychological help.

However when the victim partner does understand and wants to get out of the relationship, the Gaslighting partner may suddenly become all nice and loving and cry to get attention, profess about their love, even getting gifts and flowers to lure their partner often making false promises. However, once the partner is back with them they soon go back to their old ways. 

In the process the victim partners often remain confused and full of self –doubt. They may develop severely low self- esteem, may be perceived by friends as always complaining or confused and may develop psychological issues like anxiety, panic and even depression.

It is very important to recognize this phenomenon in our relationship or with others around us as the long term effects can be disastrous. If you are in one such relationship you will need help to get out of it because your partner is not going to let you move away with ease as they need you to feel powerful and in control.

See a counselor, get help. You deserve a better life and better relationship.

 

If you believe this can help someone, do share. To connect with Dr. Sapna Sharma for Relationship Counseling WhatsApp on 8446229088 from wherever you are in the world.

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