Today when so many relationships are breaking up and people are finding it difficult to be with one person for long, I think we need to change our perspective and take a fresh look at our concepts of relationships.

Sri Ravi Shankar has once said, “It seems like two people who are bored with themselves come together in a relationship or a marriage and then expect one another to take care of their boredom.”

Read the above statement once more and reflect. Though not apparent, that is how most relationships start when we are looking for someone to complete something inside us. Most of us have no clue what makes us happy but we want our partners to not only know it but to constantly keep working towards keeping us happy and entertained. 

When was the last time we stopped to think, “What kind of a person I am and what kind of partner am I really looking for?” the genuine answers to just these two questions can not only save us a lot of heartbreak but also help us live a life of purpose with dignity.

The thing is, when we get attracted to one or two things about any person, we start obsessing over believing that this is the happily ever after relationship and it has to last a lifetime. Even when we can see that things are not working out or that the person is not actually what we want, we still try to push the other person to change to become someone that we feel can be right for us.

Interestingly, in this entire process there is hardly any attempt to look inside into ourselves. Even after break ups and heartbreak we either sulk and go into self pity or as early as possible get into another relationship basically distracting ourselves from the most important questions staring us in our face, “What kind of person I am? What is my definition of a relationship? What kind of person can I be genuinely happy with?”   

Ultimately it is our relationship. How long can we treat it as a foreign phenomenon? If I do not know myself, if I cannot be happy with myself, If I do not have a healthy relationship with myself, If I cannot respect and love myself, will I really be able to understand, respect and love the other?  And for that matter can I really be happy if I do not know how to be happy by myself?

All Relationships start with a healthy relationship with the self. If I am in between relationships or not happy in the current relationship can I take a step back and first take a deep look within?               

If you believe this can help someone, do share. To connect with me for Relationship Counselling, send WhatsApp messages on 8446229088 from wherever you are in the world.

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