Are you or your loved ones getting married in the near future? Are you a parent who is looking forward to getting your child married soon? Are you in a relationship and considering marriage? Answer the following questions genuinely: 

For bride/ groom: 

1. Do you know who will be cleaning the toilet every morning?
2. What would be the cooking arrangements?
3. Have you and your partner spoken about your sexual needs and preferences?
4. How will the finances be handled among you?
5. What is your understanding about each other’s personal friend circle, career and parents?
6. Have you talked about children?

For the parents of groom:

1. Where will your son and his wife live after marriage?
2. Are you mentally and physically ready to welcome a totally new person with a new personality who is a new generation girl into your family?
3. Will you be okay with their late night outings, waking up late, wearing western outfits, talking with you directly on any topic that you may not be comfortable with?
4. Are you ready to give your son the charge of his life and withdraw even when you do not like how he and his wife are conducting day to day?
5. Have you made it clear if you would be taking care of their children when both the son and daughter in law are working? And can you do it happily for years sacrificing your freedom?

For the parents of the bride:

1. Does your daughter regularly participate in all household chores like cooking, cleaning, washing even if she is working and earning?
2. Is your daughter ready to take responsibility of an entire household?
3. Has your daughter learned adjustment, compromise, and sacrificeessential to make the family work?
4. Does your daughter make her bed and clean her room every morning?
5. Does your daughter value togetherness over partying and sharing over earning?

These are just a few questions. But if you are not able to satisfactorily answer any of these questions and many more like these that might come to your mind, you need pre- marital counseling with an experienced counselor. 

Marriages have not remained as simple as they used to be. Earlier the girl would be married before she could form her opinions and independent existence. She would be prepared to accept everything that would come with the husband. Then there would be many people in the family who were basically helpful in difficult family situations. 

Today we believe more in individuality. We focus on formal education and in favor of that we provide them everything materially possible and keep them away from anything that would mean responsibility and adjustment. We pray for their high marks and then high salaries and then suddenly expect them to get married and automatically imbibe all the qualities essential to run a family. 

We need to understand we do not live in extended families anymore and our children have no way to automatically learn the essential factors like adjustment, compromise and sacrifice for the sake of love and togetherness. Today the family courts are overflowing with divorce applications of youngsters within a span of a few months to a couple of years after marriage. Once used to a life of independence and freedom from responsibility they find it very difficult tomake a family life work. Girls are looking for total freedom and no answerability while boys are still living in the belief that the wife has to obey the husband and in-laws and have to be solely responsible for the household. 

To top it all low self- esteem issues are leading to an atmosphere of one-up-man-ship among them because we parents have not addressed anything other than study related issues since childhood. 

How to make a marriage work is not taught in any school. Even when they are in relationship before marriage they are used to independent living, romance, parties and fun and it no way prepares them for getting in to a committed relationship. 

Find yourself a counselor. Look for one in your city or look for one online. You can get in touch with any counselor anywhere in the world for online Counseling and get the services in the comfort of your home. Talk to a counselor for Pre marriage Counseling for a happy life.

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