- Dr. Sapna Sharma
- 20 November 2019
In the earlier blog we talked about the various reasons why people do not walk out of a toxic relationship. Today with discuss one of the most important reasons and that is the fear of being alone.
When in a relationship we tend to lose our identity in many ways. Most of the things that we do during the day, we do either with each other or with reference to each other. To top that, given today’s technology we are almost always connected with our partner texting on some app or the other.
Now even when it seems that we need to take a break to understand the relationship or ourselves better, we cannot last it even for a day because our habit of being connected with that person or someone all the time scares us threatening of loneliness. I meet many people who say they are done with the relationship but not able to leave that person. Even if they try they end up texting them out of sheet habit. And thus the status co continues.
Can something be done about it? Certainly, provided you are willing for the change and daring to move on.
1. Starting with blocking the number of your now ex-partner in all the media of communication. Even if you have memorized their number, this is important so that you do not get tempted when they send you a message.
2. Taking up at least 2 new activities in addition to your routine. The idea is to keep yourself occupied so you do not sit staring at your phone and get tempted again.
3. Join some group activities where you can make new friends and not always move around the same old ones, which would remind you of your partner.
4. REMEMBER, a relationship not working is NOT A TRAGEDY so stop brooding in self pity. You will miss your life with that person on some occasions and it is valid to shed a few tears then, but you don’t have to deliberately stay in that state.
5. When at home stay close to family members as far as possible during the waking hours so that you are distracted.
FINALLY, when you feel very-very lonely, try to remember how lonely it was when you were in that relationship. Being lonely in a relationship is worse than being alone and being with friends and family by choice.
Understand that even when you are alone you do not have to feel lonely. Look at your life, add quality to it, enjoy the newfound freedom, restore your self-esteem and explore life from a new angle. Having a partner is a good thing but why make it the sole aim of life? Why does life have to lose meaning when things are not working out with someone? Remember the good times you had while it lasted and be thankful that you could understand that this relationship was not worth keeping and the courage to come out of it to make something worthwhile of your life.
Explore yourself and share with me in the comment box below. If you wish to discuss something that is personal to you, let us know and we can connect.