Everyday in my practice of counseling I am approached by many parents with some complain or worry about their child. Irrespective of the gender of the child, the issues are pretty much one or more from among the following list:

 

1. Having a boyfriend/ girlfriend
2. Not putting in efforts to study
3. Being irritable or difficult with family
4. Addiction to social media or gadgets

 

Interestingly, even age does not seem to be a differentiating factor for any of the above. The parents are undergoing a whole lot of emotional turmoil and seem to be at a loss of how to deal with these issues.

 

On first look, the concerns seem to be obvious and genuine ones. And certainly when it is a parent’s concerns for his/her child, there cannot be any doubt that they are genuine. However as a counselor I have learnt to see beyond what is presenting.  And that prompts me to ask many questions. I would like to share some of my questions here:

 

1. What exactly is your concern in the above situation?
2. What are your expectations?
3. What troubles you most?
4. What is it according to you that would be better in the given situation?
5. Why exactly is the child behaving the way he is?
6. What is it that you really want for your child?

 

I present the same questions to you, the readers, if you are a troubled parent of a young child, especially a teenager. Do apply all the questions to any of the situation you and your child may be in. Try to be as true to yourself as you can be.  I write this last sentence because it is well known that whenever we have to give an answer to anyone else other than ourselves, we add varying quantities of lies to it. The foremost reason being- to appear ‘righteous’ and ‘perfect’ to the other person. Now without getting defensive about my claim I would suggest that you remind yourself that you are giving these answers only to yourself. Around here there is no one to impress or to prove a point to.  So, think wisely and understand what is actually bothers you about your child and how you can deal with various teen issues positively and effectively.

 

To help you better in the journey of strengthening your mental fitness as parents, I have a complete series of blogs wrapped in a bundle. One by one untie each knot of the bundle to open a new chapter of understanding various concerns parents of a teen go through.  Wondering what is in store next? Maybe one of the most common complaints you as parents of teens have, or maybe the common teenage problems and solutions. Wondering? Stay active, and take your parenting journey to a fruitful climax.

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