Not happy in a relationship? Consider this.

  • Dr. Sapna Sharma
  • 04 December 2019

So there are relationships that have obvious problems like abusive partner, lack of money or incompatibility. If your relationship does not have any of these issues and yet you are constantly criticizing your partner or expecting them to change then this article is for you.
 
When two people enter a relationship there are a few things that they have liked about each other and yet there is so much that cannot be known unless we start spending a lot of time of the day together or get into a commitment. The initial days are always like a whirlwind where nothing and nobody seems to matter more than the person in interest.
 
However the first thing that happens in a committed relationship is that both or at least one of the partners gets secure about the relationship and they turn their attention back to the other essentials like education or job or hobbies and also feel comfortable to re establish their other relationships with friends and family. Also there is less need to impress the partner and hence the wooing and demonstration of affection lessens.
 
The initial attraction too eases in and it is often at this stage that many relationships see a game play of disappointments and blaming. In the absence of obvious reasons for the dissatisfaction of the partner the one who is blamed is often perplexed. It is here that we need to reexamine our side of the relationship. Is it based on knowing and loving the real person or on the idea of love and of an ideal partner?
 
Growing up we have developed our own perceptions of love, romance, marriage and togetherness. Some of our ideas are based on what we have experienced in our closest surroundings and a lot comes from what the world is trying to show us in person and via the media. We have consciously and subconsciously gathered all the information on the way and interpreted it in our own unique way. We imagine how our partner should be and we have dreams of romantic love and ideal marriage.
 
Interestingly our reality hardly fits into our ideas. But the trouble starts when we desperately try to match what we have with what we have imagined. It is the picture in our mind of how it is all supposed to be that messes with our mind.
 
Do examine yourself. The solution: Find the golden mean. First acknowledge and appreciate what you have and then see if you can bring in your half of romance and love into the relationship. Every time you feel disappointment, do examine yourself and once more appreciate what you already have and share with me in the comment box below. If you wish to discuss something that is personal to you, let us know and we can connect.

   

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